Hello (and Happy—or Not So Happy—Holidays): Holding Space for Ourselves and Others

by Dr. LaNita Jefferson

The holidays can be a complicated time. For some, this season brings joy, laughter, and connection. For others, it’s a time of loneliness, grief, or tension. As mental health professionals, we sit right in the middle of that complexity every day.

We hear stories of celebration and sorrow, of family closeness and family conflict. Some of our clients light up when they talk about decorating their homes or seeing their children’s excitement, while others shut down at the thought of being in the same room with certain relatives—or any relatives at all. The contrast is real and often jarring. One session may be filled with gratitude and hope, and the next may be heavy with grief, trauma, or memories of what’s been lost.

Dr. LaNita Jefferson, PhD, LPC, LPCS

And while we hold space for our clients’ emotions, we often forget that we too carry our own stories. We have our own triggers, expectations, and emotional undercurrents that show up this time of year. Many of us are managing our own family dynamics, reflecting on loved ones who are no longer here, or simply navigating the exhaustion that can come from giving so much of ourselves to others.

So, I want to pause and ask you a simple but important question:

What are you doing to take care of yourself this holiday season?

Because two things can be true at once.We can be deeply present and compassionate for our clients and tender and caring with ourselves.We can hold space for others and make room for our own needs.

Below are some ways to stay grounded, connected, and balanced—both for your clients and for yourself—during this emotionally layered time of year.

For Yourself: The Therapist Behind the Chair

1. Check in with your own emotional landscape. Before walking into sessions, take a moment to ask yourself, “What am I bringing into the room today?” Awareness of your own emotions allows you to show up with authenticity and boundaries. You don’t have to be perfectly centered—you just have to be present and aware.

2. Give yourself permission to feel it all. If the holidays bring up sadness, nostalgia, or fatigue, that doesn’t make you less of a helper. It makes you human. Try journaling, talking with a trusted colleague, or even naming your feelings out loud. Acknowledgment is a form of release.

3. Protect your schedule and your peace. It’s tempting to squeeze in “just one more client” or say yes to extra sessions because we want to support everyone. But compassion fatigue is real. Schedule time for rest, reflection, and non-work connection. You can’t pour from an empty cup—nor should you try.

4. Create moments of genuine joy. Find small ways to reconnect with what lifts your spirit—a favorite holiday movie, cooking a nostalgic meal, or simply enjoying quiet time with a warm drink. It’s not about forcing holiday cheer; it’s about allowing yourself moments of ease and delight.

5. Lean on your support system. Just as we encourage clients to seek community, we must do the same. Reach out to colleagues, join consultation groups, or have honest conversations about the emotional weight of this season. Sometimes healing begins with simply being heard.

For Your Clients: Holding Space with Care

1. Normalize the full spectrum of emotions. Remind clients that it’s okay to feel mixed emotions—joy, sadness, guilt, gratitude, all at once. The holidays are not a one-size-fits-all experience. Help them release the expectation of “constant happiness.”

2. Prepare for potential triggers. Invite clients to identify who or what may cause stress during the holidays. Together, create an “emotional toolkit” they can use in those moments—deep breathing, grounding exercises, or safe words they can use to take a break.

3. Talk about boundaries early and often. This is the time to help clients rehearse setting limits: declining invitations, shortening visits, or even saying, “I need to step outside for a bit.” Boundaries are not barriers—they’re bridges to emotional safety.

4. Honor grief and absence. For those who have lost someone dear, help them explore rituals that bring comfort—lighting a candle, writing a letter, or setting aside a moment of reflection. Grief doesn’t pause for the holidays, and it deserves gentle attention.

5. Encourage meaning-making. Invite clients to redefine what the holidays mean for them. It doesn’t have to look traditional or picture-perfect. Sometimes, creating a new ritual, serving others, or simply choosing rest can be deeply healing.

As this year comes to an end, let’s remember that our work is sacred—but so is our well-being. We are not immune to the emotional tides that move through this season. We are human first, helpers second.

So give yourself the same compassion you offer others. Take the break. Light the candle. Reflect, rest, and receive joy where it finds you.

Because when we care for ourselves deeply, we show up more fully—for our clients, our loved ones, and our own hearts.

With Love and Peace unto you,

Dr. Jefferson