When Grief Walks into the Classroom: Responding to Death in the School Community
- Dr. Jasmine Cohen, DSW, LMSW
- May 29
- 4 min read
By Dr. Jasmine Cohen, DSW, LMSW
School Social Worker, Berkeley County School District
Founder of P.O.W.E.R. — Providing Opportunities Within Everyone’s Reach
Owner, DATS Urban Therapy LLC
Every school year brings its expected routines: bell schedules, testing windows, sporting events, and graduation ceremonies. But every so often, something happens that no lesson plan can prepare for.
A student dies. A teacher passes unexpectedly. A parent is lost. A tragedy ripples through the community.
In my work as a school social worker, I have unfortunately had to respond to school communities grieving the loss of students to suicide. Those moments are some of the most difficult experiences educators and mental health professionals face. Walking through hallways where a student’s presence once filled a space with laughter and energy is a sobering reminder of how deeply interconnected our school communities truly are.
In those moments, my role shifts beyond traditional counseling. It becomes about helping students process shock, sadness, confusion, and sometimes guilt, while also supporting teachers and staff who are grieving in their own way. I have learned that crisis response is not about having perfect words—it is about showing up with empathy, honesty, and a willingness to sit with students in their pain while helping them find a path toward healing.
Experiences like these have reinforced for me the importance of proactive mental health support in schools. When we create environments where students feel seen, heard, and safe enough to talk about their struggles before they reach a breaking point, we are not only supporting individual students—we are strengthening the entire school community.
When death enters a school community, it does not arrive quietly. It walks through hallways, sits in empty desks, and echoes in conversations students have with one another between classes. Teachers suddenly find themselves navigating questions they were never trained to answer. Students struggle to make sense of emotions they may be feeling for the first time.
In those moments, schools are reminded of an important truth: grief does not stay at home. It walks directly into the classroom.
Understanding Grief in the School Environment
Grief in children and adolescents rarely looks the way adults expect it to.
While adults often associate grief with sadness and withdrawal, students may show grief through irritability, anger, silence, laughter, risk-taking behavior, or difficulty concentrating. Some students may seem unaffected at first, only to struggle weeks later when the initial shock wears off.
Developmental stage also plays a role in how grief is experienced and expressed.
Younger students may struggle to fully understand the permanence of death. Middle school students may oscillate between emotional vulnerability and attempts to appear unaffected. High school students may wrestle with existential questions, identity shifts, or survivor’s guilt.
For educators, this means recognizing that there is no single “correct” way to grieve.
Students process loss at different speeds, and their responses may change over time.
Supporting Teachers During Times of Loss
When tragedy occurs in a school community, teachers often feel unprepared. Many educators worry about saying the wrong thing, triggering students emotionally, or disrupting the structure of the school day.
Yet teachers play a critical role in helping students regain a sense of stability.
Counselors and school social workers can support teachers by offering guidance on how to address loss in the classroom. This may include:
Providing simple scripts or talking points
Encouraging teachers to acknowledge the loss rather than ignore it
Reminding educators that it is okay not to have all the answers
Reinforcing the importance of maintaining routines
Routine is often an anchor during times of grief. While emotions may be heightened, familiar structures help students regain a sense of safety and predictability.
Why Schools Should Avoid Permanent Memorials
One challenge that often arises after a student death is the question of memorialization.
Students and families understandably want to honor the individual who passed away. However, permanent memorials within school settings—such as plaques, benches, or named spaces—can create unintended consequences.
Over time, these memorials may become painful reminders for grieving students or may unintentionally establish precedents that schools cannot sustain in the future.
Instead, many schools choose temporary or symbolic forms of remembrance, such as letters, art projects, or service activities that reflect the spirit of the student who was lost.
These approaches allow the community to acknowledge the loss while also supporting long-term healing.
Cultural and Religious Considerations
Grief is deeply shaped by culture, spirituality, and family traditions.
For some students, faith may be a central component of how they make sense of loss. For others, cultural practices may influence how grief is expressed publicly or privately.
School professionals must remain mindful that students come from diverse backgrounds, and responses to death may vary widely.
The goal is not to assume what a student believes or how they should grieve, but to approach each interaction with cultural humility and openness.
Listening becomes just as important as guiding.
Continuing the Work Beyond the Classroom
Supporting students through grief requires more than a single conversation or a one-time intervention. It requires ongoing commitment to creating environments where young people feel safe expressing who they are and what they are experiencing.
In my work as a school social worker, I’ve learned that healing often happens when students are given space to connect, reflect, and rediscover their strengths. Sometimes that happens through conversation. Other times it happens through music, movement, storytelling, or simply being surrounded by a community that reminds them they are not alone.
This belief is also at the heart of a community initiative I lead called P.O.W.E.R.—Providing Opportunities Within Everyone’s Reach. Through youth engagement, creative expression, and interactive programming, our goal is to help students tap into their resilience and
recognize that even in life’s most difficult moments, they still have the ability to grow, heal, and move forward. When schools create intentional spaces for students to be seen, heard, and supported, something powerful happens. Young people begin to realize that their experiences matter, their voices matter, and their future still holds possibility.
More about this work and our mission can be found at datspower.org, where we continue exploring ways to support youth, educators, and communities through connection, creativity, and empowerment.
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